A Gem

It has been a long time since I've had this AWESOME of a New York story to tell! I've become so immune to New York's ridiculousness that all I can talk about is the humidity (terrible), the heat (also terrible), and brunch (awesome). I mean, obviously, there are plenty of crazy people wandering around that I'm sure are crossing my path so I can write about them. Apparently, though, I'm too busy drowning in my own sweat to notice them.

Until last weekend.

Because this could not be ignored.

But, first, the Preface:

When Mom and Aunt Midge visited New York last year, we went out for drinks at the fabulous Le Parker Meridien. In addition to frothy, expensive cocktails, this hotel bar has the Best Nuts and Snacks Ever. And that is not an overstatement. You guys- they have fried, cheese-stuffed olives. On their nut tray. I needn't say more.

So, anyways, we were just minding our own business, sipping our delicious martinis, carefully dividing the snacks among the three of us so we all got our rightfuls, and just having a grand old time. And then, a possibly homeless, definitely crazy lady walks by, reaches down, grabs a giant handful of our nuts, and keeps on walking, right out the door!

I can't believe I never wrote about that before, because it was one of the funniest moments I've had in the city. Maybe I was so relieved she didn't take any olives that I figured it wasn't actually a big deal, even though a crazy lady did steal our bar snacks.

This was SO much better than that.

In the summer, Eric and I always get a muffin from the farmers market on Saturday mornings and go to the park and watch baseball. Well, actually, I get a muffin. Eric eats parsley or something, because he's so petite.

Anyways, this Saturday, we got our delicious and healthy breakfasts (respectively), and made ourselves comfortable on a park bench. It quickly proved to be an exciting day though, as we were witnesses to a definitely crazy, definitely homeless woman stealing a soda from a park vendor. Then, she came back to the vendor and offered to "help" him instead of paying for it. Believe me, Tucky would probably have been a better helper, poor lady.

So, we went about our business, and Eric polished off his hay in two seconds flat, and I nibbled at my muffin to make it last as long as humanly possible. We were just about ready to go, and I had the last perfect bites of my muffin just sitting in my lap. The next thing I know, the Crazy Lady Who Steals Sodas walks up to me and snatches that muffin right out of my lap! SHE TOOK MY MUFFIN!

At first I tried to grab it back, but then I thought: 1. NUH UH. (Hungry Rebecca) 2. She obviously needs this muffin more than me (Compassionate Rebecca) 3. I'm obviously not going to eat that muffin anymore (Skeeved Out Rebecca) and 4. This muffin is extremely tasty, but probably not worth taking down a crazy, homeless lady (Reasonable Rebecca)

In a matter of seconds, she walked away, as suddenly as she arrived, enjoying the best muffin she's probably ever had. Lucky Crazy Lady.

SHE TOOK MY MUFFIN! OUT OF MY LAP!

How's THAT for a good Central Park story?