Well my big CBS debut on Wednesday went smashingly- we got about 20 seconds of air time, the League secured one new member (totally thanks to me and my skilled post-television telephone sale manner and natural charm. Obviously.) and now at least the two dozen people that watch The Early Show know about the national food drive. Overall, a tremendous success.
But, more important, I am now extremely famous, as evidenced by my photo plastered all over the League's website and the inclusion of my likeness in the upcoming issue of Symphony magazine. So, you know, I guess I can call it a day after that kind of fame.
If you want to see the evidence of what has made me so famous, we have a clip on our site at http://www.americanorchestras.org/utilities/orchestras_feeding_america.html. Just scroll to the bottom of the page!
Now that my literally 20 seconds of fame are over (and since it really wasn't about me in the least, we can really only count this as approximately two seconds), it's back to the daily grind...
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Me. On TV. Tomorrow.
That's right- you read that correctly. I will be making an appearance on the CBS Early Show tomorrow (Wednesday) morning! Now my quest to conquer the city is officially complete.
Alright, to be fair, I should clarify- the League and our orchestras will be on the Early Show tomorrow to promote our national food drive, Orchestras Feeding America. I will be standing behind the barricades holding a sign and waving like a moron. BUT, you might (hopefully will, since I'm tall) be able to see me and my shining face on national TV, which is probably cool. I think.
We think the segment will air between 7:30 and 9 am EST, so tune in and watching me smile and wave!
If you actually want to know why we get to be on TV, go here.
Alright, to be fair, I should clarify- the League and our orchestras will be on the Early Show tomorrow to promote our national food drive, Orchestras Feeding America. I will be standing behind the barricades holding a sign and waving like a moron. BUT, you might (hopefully will, since I'm tall) be able to see me and my shining face on national TV, which is probably cool. I think.
We think the segment will air between 7:30 and 9 am EST, so tune in and watching me smile and wave!
If you actually want to know why we get to be on TV, go here.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Safety First
Yesterday, the City of New York graced my office building with a brand new emergency action plan-- an 84 page missive outlining every possible dangerous situation and the various scenarios we should enact, should such catastrophes occur. We now have detailed instructions for everything "biological incidents or releases" to "nuclear incidents or releases" to "natural disaster" to "suspicious packages." We also now have no remaining questions about where the elevators and stairs are or what might happen if the power goes out.
But my personal favorite is the "Telephone Bomb Threat Checklist," or what I think would be more appropriate titled "How to Converse With a Very Courteous Bomber." Here are the highlights:
(Before we begin, it's very important to remember to have this paper in front of you if you answer the phone and it's a bomb threat. So, the first thing on the checklist should be to say "Excuse me for one moment I need to get my bomb threat checklist. Please hold.")
Ok, now this is all for real (unless I HAVE to interject with a witty addition- in italics, of course.)
REMEMBER: KEEP CALM. (it's only a bomb threat, after all.) DO NOT GET EXCITED OR EXCITE OTHERS. KEEP CALLER ON THE PHONE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. DO NOT HANG UP FIRST! (I mean, really, why would you hang up the phone as fast as you can and run as far away as you possibly could?)
Exact words of caller (please ask to repeat if you don't get it the first time):
Questions to be asked:
Time bomb is going to explode?
Where is it located?
What kind of bomb is it?
What does it look like? How does it work? Can you teach me how to make that? Where did you receive your training?
What will cause it to explode?
Did you place the bomb? Why? Are you in therapy?
Where are you calling from?
What is your address?
What is your name?
And can I get your social security number, while I'm at it?
Description of caller- check all that apply:
Loud, Rough, Pleasant, Intoxicated, Fast, Slurred, Lisp, Squeaky, Nasal, Irrational, Deliberate, Giggling etc. etc.
And, if you get too scared and have to run away, please ask the caller to call back and leave this information on your voicemail. Thank you.
And remember, safety is not a joke.
But my personal favorite is the "Telephone Bomb Threat Checklist," or what I think would be more appropriate titled "How to Converse With a Very Courteous Bomber." Here are the highlights:
(Before we begin, it's very important to remember to have this paper in front of you if you answer the phone and it's a bomb threat. So, the first thing on the checklist should be to say "Excuse me for one moment I need to get my bomb threat checklist. Please hold.")
Ok, now this is all for real (unless I HAVE to interject with a witty addition- in italics, of course.)
REMEMBER: KEEP CALM. (it's only a bomb threat, after all.) DO NOT GET EXCITED OR EXCITE OTHERS. KEEP CALLER ON THE PHONE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. DO NOT HANG UP FIRST! (I mean, really, why would you hang up the phone as fast as you can and run as far away as you possibly could?)
Exact words of caller (please ask to repeat if you don't get it the first time):
Questions to be asked:
Time bomb is going to explode?
Where is it located?
What kind of bomb is it?
What does it look like? How does it work? Can you teach me how to make that? Where did you receive your training?
What will cause it to explode?
Did you place the bomb? Why? Are you in therapy?
Where are you calling from?
What is your address?
What is your name?
And can I get your social security number, while I'm at it?
Description of caller- check all that apply:
Loud, Rough, Pleasant, Intoxicated, Fast, Slurred, Lisp, Squeaky, Nasal, Irrational, Deliberate, Giggling etc. etc.
And, if you get too scared and have to run away, please ask the caller to call back and leave this information on your voicemail. Thank you.
And remember, safety is not a joke.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Whoa guys
This is a real, unedited, honest-to-Pete e-mail from one my crazed "fans" (aka members) at work. These are actual things he's talking about (which is how I figured out this wasn't spam), and I feel it's only fair to give you some guideposts:
- Hub- our new password protected, member-only website that replaced In The News etc.
-Conductor mailing list discussion group- the listserv that I moderate for conductors
Ok- beyond that, if you have a decoder ring handy that might help, because I sure don't know what he's talking about. Enjoy!
E-mail from a lovely League member who shall remain nameless:
After successfully consolidating daily IN THE NEWS & weekly FROM THE FIELD eMails (assault? into The HUB (although I don't understand the reason/rationale - or need - for its Login: 00102915 / Password: 6z4S2b5z - apparently identical for all receivers? - it would be high time to do some similar tightening up & straightening out for the UNholy mess of the Conductor mailing list discussion group.
Click reply only if you want to reply to everyone on this discussion group `warning' is disregarded - or unnoticed - by all, so we are ALL inundated 1) w/ the Q, 2) individual replies, 3) Collected Responses & THEN more Collected Responses. If we are lucky, the Collected & More Collected occasionally carry collected - or more - responses to unrelated queries - as it happened more than once!...
At one point there was a glimmer of hope when the collected (w/o `more'!) came as - methink - a Word file that one could keep if interested in the subject, but THAT was once (or twice?) upon a time occurrence... And my previous complaint cum constructive suggestions(! went unheeded, of course...
So, here they go again, as the Great Communicator would to say:
Revamp the structure of the query to have the reply go ONLY to the original questioner + the Discussion Group mailing master (= League!
When a given subject has been beaten to death (3 days / 1 week after the last reply? send the Collected Responses along w/ the original Q to the whole group - hopefully w/o subject mix-ups & such. At which point one could delete the original Q (if saved) & keep the responses if interested in the subject - or when the responses themselves are interesting / enlightenning, as quite often happens.
Another important point: uniform coding of Q & (collected - NO individual replies, puleeeeeze!) responses, e.g.
[Conductor] Q - in which Q is given in a succinct code-word used ag'in for responses (followed by word Responses or just R, if desired, so that one could immediately place the 2 together, eliminate the Q (repeated w/ Responses! & keep the latter if interested.
If occasionally a struggler comes w/ a verrrry late response - after the collected have already been sent out - it could be added to the original responses & sent out after a reasonable waiting period to minimize - or, hopefully, eliminate - duplications. Such johnny-come-lately responses should also have a uniform identifier (ADDENDUM - or abbreviated: AD - added @ the end of the original Responses, so that one can eliminate former, keep latter (if interested), avoiding cutting/pasting or having to ask `will the more complete responses plz stand up'...
PS: the premise of this brief (but not short! has been broached to President Rosen along w/ compliments for initially mentioned consolidation of NEWS/FIELD into HUB, after his appearance @ the Cdrs Gld conf last Jan, which is why he is honored(?/ bothered(?/ annoyed(? w/ a copy of this missive!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If they don't stop global warming in a hurry, we're all freeze to death!
With all the ‘time-saving’ devices, ev'rything takes @ least twice as long as it used to -
& w/ the ‘paperless’ society, we’re wasting more paper than ever before…
What is a ‘blue moon’?
Gil Shaham w/Orpheus (orch) @ Lincoln Center Penthouse, Nov ’08: Mignon - opera? nah - it's filet!
USAmerican nicknames: – What’s your name, sonny? ‘John’ – & what do they call you for short? ‘Johnny’
- Hub- our new password protected, member-only website that replaced In The News etc.
-Conductor mailing list discussion group- the listserv that I moderate for conductors
Ok- beyond that, if you have a decoder ring handy that might help, because I sure don't know what he's talking about. Enjoy!
E-mail from a lovely League member who shall remain nameless:
After successfully consolidating daily IN THE NEWS & weekly FROM THE FIELD eMails (assault? into The HUB (although I don't understand the reason/rationale - or need - for its Login: 00102915 / Password: 6z4S2b5z - apparently identical for all receivers? - it would be high time to do some similar tightening up & straightening out for the UNholy mess of the Conductor mailing list discussion group.
Click reply only if you want to reply to everyone on this discussion group `warning' is disregarded - or unnoticed - by all, so we are ALL inundated 1) w/ the Q, 2) individual replies, 3) Collected Responses & THEN more Collected Responses. If we are lucky, the Collected & More Collected occasionally carry collected - or more - responses to unrelated queries - as it happened more than once!...
At one point there was a glimmer of hope when the collected (w/o `more'!) came as - methink - a Word file that one could keep if interested in the subject, but THAT was once (or twice?) upon a time occurrence... And my previous complaint cum constructive suggestions(! went unheeded, of course...
So, here they go again, as the Great Communicator would to say:
Revamp the structure of the query to have the reply go ONLY to the original questioner + the Discussion Group mailing master (= League!
When a given subject has been beaten to death (3 days / 1 week after the last reply? send the Collected Responses along w/ the original Q to the whole group - hopefully w/o subject mix-ups & such. At which point one could delete the original Q (if saved) & keep the responses if interested in the subject - or when the responses themselves are interesting / enlightenning, as quite often happens.
Another important point: uniform coding of Q & (collected - NO individual replies, puleeeeeze!) responses, e.g.
[Conductor] Q - in which Q is given in a succinct code-word used ag'in for responses (followed by word Responses or just R, if desired, so that one could immediately place the 2 together, eliminate the Q (repeated w/ Responses! & keep the latter if interested.
If occasionally a struggler comes w/ a verrrry late response - after the collected have already been sent out - it could be added to the original responses & sent out after a reasonable waiting period to minimize - or, hopefully, eliminate - duplications. Such johnny-come-lately responses should also have a uniform identifier (ADDENDUM - or abbreviated: AD - added @ the end of the original Responses, so that one can eliminate former, keep latter (if interested), avoiding cutting/pasting or having to ask `will the more complete responses plz stand up'...
PS: the premise of this brief (but not short! has been broached to President Rosen along w/ compliments for initially mentioned consolidation of NEWS/FIELD into HUB, after his appearance @ the Cdrs Gld conf last Jan, which is why he is honored(?/ bothered(?/ annoyed(? w/ a copy of this missive!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If they don't stop global warming in a hurry, we're all freeze to death!
With all the ‘time-saving’ devices, ev'rything takes @ least twice as long as it used to -
& w/ the ‘paperless’ society, we’re wasting more paper than ever before…
What is a ‘blue moon’?
Gil Shaham w/Orpheus (orch) @ Lincoln Center Penthouse, Nov ’08: Mignon - opera? nah - it's filet!
USAmerican nicknames: – What’s your name, sonny? ‘John’ – & what do they call you for short? ‘Johnny’
Monday, March 02, 2009
In like a lion...
Old Mother Nature sure takes weather proverbs seriously. March has greeted us with cold winds, icy streets, and a predicted 10 inches of snow (by the way, if we actually get 10 inches of snow in the city, I'll by stunned. Like, you'll have to find my jaw somewhere on the sidewalk because it will have dropped that far. It's already barely snowing, so 10 inches is going to be a pretty major chore.)
So, if she continues on her proverbial path, we're looking a sopping wet April and a beautiful, floral May. I think I would prefer a beautiful April AND a beautiful May, with a few lovely intermittent showers here and there. How about that, Mother Nature?
Speaking of lions, our little lioness at home has learned some particularly fun new tricks lately: getting all the way in the dishwasher, jumping on the stove (while things are cooking. We never said she was smart, and if we did, we might have been wrong), and, our personal favorite, completely destroying an entire roll of toilet paper! How can we adore the little monster so much, you ask?
Well, when she's not attempting to chew through our arms, squirming like a tortured little worm, obliterating paper products, or whining like hyena when we try to clip her claws, she's actually just a sweet, cuddly, purrbox of mush and you just want to love her and kiss her all the day long. Really!
In other news, I was in California for vacay last week, which was fantastic, of course. Despite my cold and Julie's stomach flu, it was just a peachy time. Even if it was all about Julie :)
My two favorite moments were when I got tied into the back seat (as in, the doors were tied shut aka there was no escape) pinned underneath a giant table. Yay! Vacation!
And, favorite moment #2: when Mom, in response to my earnest and I'm sure extremely interesting monologue about all the wonders of Target, said to me what may become her new signature quote: "I hear everything you're saying, but I could not care any less." Yay! So nice! (just kidding Momo. You're really funny. And nice. But that was a good one.)
But, seriously, it was a good time, and a nice break from New York. And I really didn't spend ALL that much time pinned under furniture. The rest of the time I mostly was eating and drinking: my favorite pastimes.
Ok fine. I'll start working again now.
So, if she continues on her proverbial path, we're looking a sopping wet April and a beautiful, floral May. I think I would prefer a beautiful April AND a beautiful May, with a few lovely intermittent showers here and there. How about that, Mother Nature?
Speaking of lions, our little lioness at home has learned some particularly fun new tricks lately: getting all the way in the dishwasher, jumping on the stove (while things are cooking. We never said she was smart, and if we did, we might have been wrong), and, our personal favorite, completely destroying an entire roll of toilet paper! How can we adore the little monster so much, you ask?
Well, when she's not attempting to chew through our arms, squirming like a tortured little worm, obliterating paper products, or whining like hyena when we try to clip her claws, she's actually just a sweet, cuddly, purrbox of mush and you just want to love her and kiss her all the day long. Really!
In other news, I was in California for vacay last week, which was fantastic, of course. Despite my cold and Julie's stomach flu, it was just a peachy time. Even if it was all about Julie :)
My two favorite moments were when I got tied into the back seat (as in, the doors were tied shut aka there was no escape) pinned underneath a giant table. Yay! Vacation!
And, favorite moment #2: when Mom, in response to my earnest and I'm sure extremely interesting monologue about all the wonders of Target, said to me what may become her new signature quote: "I hear everything you're saying, but I could not care any less." Yay! So nice! (just kidding Momo. You're really funny. And nice. But that was a good one.)
But, seriously, it was a good time, and a nice break from New York. And I really didn't spend ALL that much time pinned under furniture. The rest of the time I mostly was eating and drinking: my favorite pastimes.
Ok fine. I'll start working again now.
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