Mr. Always Yelling Man, the Second

Riverside Park abounds with characters. We have Mr. Skinny Kind Of Cute Man Who Always Writes In His Journal And Wears No Shirt And Who We (Maybe) Like To Stalk Man. Then there's the always popular Mr. Sits On The Passive Lawn With His Shopping Cart And Garbage Bags And Yells About Nuclear Bombs Man. He's good times.

But, by far my favorite, is Mr. Always Yelling Man, the Second. In Stockton, there was this man who would sit outside Starbucks everyday and yell at customers that went in or out: "HI! HOW ARE YOU! HELLO! HAVE A GREAT DAY! GOODBYE!" and so on. I was pretty sure I would never meet another character quite as wonderful as Mr. Always Yelling Man.

Until now.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me present for you, Mr. Always Yelling Man, the Second.

He's an old man, with white skinny arms and a bit of a belly. His standard uniform is red track pants paired expertly with a fresh (we hope) white tank top. He sits on a bench near the boat basin, and extends (read: SHOUTS) a friendly greeting to all who may be lucky enough to pass by:

"GOOD MORNING!!!!!"

Now, it's important to keep in mind that New Yorkers do not like to be spoken to except by those who we are a)married to, b) friends with, c)work with, or d)are being served food or cocktails by (in minimal, necessary exchanges). But interrupt us with a neighborly hello while we are out enjoying the fresh Hudson River air? Don't even think about it.

You can imagine, then, that very few of these New Yorkers return Mr. Always Yelling Man, the Second's happy salutation. This does not go over well. "GOOD MORNING!!!!!" turns into

"HEY! HEYYYY! YOU! I'M TALKING TO YOU! GOOD-MOR-NING!!!!!"

I'm usually just so happy and shocked that someone is actually smiling and saying hello (and because he's funny. And because I'm a little scared of him), I always take off my I-Pod, attempt to catch my breath from my run, start to wave frenetically and shout right back.

"GOOD MORNING!!!!!"