Home Again Home Again Jiggety Jog

It was a tough week. But somehow things are still fine. They're good even.

I had to go home over the weekend suddenly because my grandma's sick. I was overcome with sadness and hated that I had to go home for such a heartbreaking reason, but once I got there I remembered why my family is the most amazing group of people in the world. And I knew why it was that I had to be there too. Even in a time when we could have been sad and full of self-pity, we were together, so we were laughing. Even my grandma. How wonderful, even if bitterly ironic, is it that something so terrible can make something so heartwarming like bringing a whole family together happen at a time when everyone might need it? I don't know what I expected going home last weekend, but I do know that I left feeling hopeful, and full of the knowledge that my family sticks together and that we always will no matter what. And my grandma's doing better. She has to have hope. Just like we all do. So just keep hoping.

It was very hard to come back here yesterday. Not only had I had a good weekend with my family (and I always feel like the most important thing is to be with them), but I also realized while I was gone that I haven't been in New York long enough to know what I like about it. So when I left, and not only left, but went back home, it was just too easy to forget why I like it at all. As I was coming back, I was dreading it- the crowds, the mean people, the rain, the mice...I couldn't even think of any reason why I was so close to feeling like this is really my home. It's weird how it's harder now. But I guess I just have to keep rolling along, day by day, and hopefully it really will seem like home. I think this is all just pretty tough.

Eric did buy me flowers yesterday- lilies, my favorite- so now my apartment smells like lilies, and not at all like a breeding ground for mice. Those little things make any day better.

Speaking of mice- after Eric's horrible battle over the weekend in the War of the Rodents, we have not seen or caught a mouse in 2 days. It's a record and I slept soundly last night. Cross your fingers for 2 nights in a row!

Today I had my first class in the formidable STERN SCHOOL OF BUSINESS....From how they prepared us for classes at STERN, you'd think it was like academic boot camp or something. I'll admit that I was a little intimidated when I walked in the fancy building, and had to navigate through all the pinstripe suits, blazers, high heels, and nylon- wearing business students--hold on- is dressing in business attire normal for business students or is this just a special STERN elitist thing? If it's normal then fine, but if not then I personally think these people should get over themselves...But I somehow made it to my marketing class, and it was not at all like what we were prepared for. The professor is completely laid back, there are no group projects (FINALLY!), and we spend some time making fun of Stern students. Perfect! I think it will be just fine. One more class and then I'll officially be on my way in my first semester...I realized tonight that one defining feature of grad students is that they like to hear themselves talk. Not one of my favorite personal features, but one that I may have to pretend to adopt in order to be succesful at this juncture of my studies...

I did make one scene this week- before I left for Colorado, I had to go to the NYU library, but I had all my stuff with me- suitcase and computer bag. Welllll, I first of all had to carry all of that down into the subway and then throughout the city, but then I had to get in the library. And, don't worry, I definitely tried to get through the revolving doors, and DEFINITELY got stuck. Oh man. I don't even want to know how many people were laughing at me. But I just tried and tried again until I finally made it in and then proceeded to drag my big suitcase all through the library. But you're not a true New Yorker until you're really great at making scenes, so I certainly am on the right track.

"Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies."
The Shawshank Redemption